Reduce the Anger, Stop the Stress
Anger can never get you anywhere – except in trouble. Anger is also a source of stress that can wreck a havoc in your relationships, especially if you cannot control it. Stop stressing and control your anger and temper with these anger management tips.
Take time to count. While cliché, counting to 10 before reacting to a particular situation that makes you angry or annoyed can really help in controlling your temper. This way, you allow yourself some time to organize your thoughts and think without being controlled by your emotion. Buying yourself some time before reacting can really help in defusing your temper.
Do something physically exerting. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you are about to erupt. A brisk walk, a run, or a few minutes of lifting weights can help sort out your mood. If you are feeling particularly violent, some time with a punching bag can do the trick. In addition, exercising can raise your endorphin levels and make you feel better.
Calm and soothe yourself. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself such as “take it easy.” You can also listen to music, paint, write in your journal, or do yoga. Doing these things can help you get your emotions in check and express them in less volatile ways.
Express your anger as soon as possible. This may seem to contradict earlier tips, but what this really means is never stew in your anger. Once you are calm enough to talk, express your anger in a controlled manner to the person who angered you. If you can’t, try talking to a family member, friend, counselor, or another trusted person.
Think carefully before saying anything. You may find yourself saying things you do not really mean or regret. Take a moment to put things in perspective and write a script so that you can stick to the issues at hand and not on how bad you feel.
Work to identify solutions. Instead of pointing fingers, passing the blame, and arguing incessantly, work on a solution to the problem that is aggravating you and the person you are angry with. Doing so is more productive and conducive in fostering relationships than feuding.
Use “I” statements when describing problems. Phrasing your concerns this way helps you to avoid criticizing or placing blame. Focus on how you feel about the situation and address them. Putting the blame on the other person sets him up to be defensive and escalates tensions.
Don’t hold grudges. If you can, forgive the other person immediately if an apology is offered. Better yet, offer one of your own. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
The tips listed and discussed above can certainly help reduce the stress in your relationships. However, if you find them inadequate or if your temper is really hard to control, you can resort to anger management classes. Working with professionals can help you come to terms with your emotions faster.
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